I think what I like about my current course of study is that it actually forces me to confront my own fear.
I’m never going to be who I want to be if I spend my life running and hiding.
Two years ago I was lying on my bed and muttering to myself, “wow. I’m already in secondary four.” I could still remember perfectly how excited I was before my first day in secondary school and before I knew it, I was already in my graduating year. That night I couldn’t stop thinking about how time passed by so quickly and how mundane secondary school actually was. Sure, it was a period where I matured quite abit, discovered my interest and etc but everything was still quite mundane. Every day felt like any other.
Now i find myself saying the same thing. “Wow, I’m already my second year in Polytechnic.” However I’m quite proud to say that I’ve been striving to make the best of time. Life is definitely not as uninteresting as my secondary school time. I’ve had a bit of adventure (and misadventure) which taught me a great deal of lesson I’ll never get anywhere else. I’ve grown and learned a lot about myself, and those around me.
It has been a year since I’ve entered Poly and it’s has already become the best period of my life.
If I could, I would tell everyone I know, especially you, that you’re a special human being. You’ve brought me much joy, happiness and laughter by being who you are. The self loathe that you have? It’s not worth it at all. You’re a much better person than that and I would want to do everything I can for you to realize that.
My mind is constantly in a struggle because it knows that life is fragile, that it’ll end someday.
So I’ll spend half my day trying (keyword: trying) to do work and be productive to make the most out of my day. I’d also spend the other half on bed lying down and enjoying little things like the sun or my soft bolster and trying to free myself from all worries.
Sometimes I’d even wonder why I’m trying to hard because I know I’m just made of stardust and one day every inch of me is going to reunite and be part of the universe again. So why bother?
End of the academic year
It’s scary how I thought I had quite a comfortable sum of money at the start of the year but now it has dwindled to this sad figure. Worst thing is that 90% of it was spent on school materials or my healthcare which is beyond my control. I won’t be working during the holidays too because I’d be engaged in several competitions so I have no idea how I’m to recuperate my savings.
I really hope the results from some of the previous competition arrives soon so the prize money would be a relieve to me. (Note to self: join even more competitions)
However I still think I shouldn’t worry too much about this. Something in my mind is telling me that things are going to be alright and I believe it will be.
I try my best but the best is never enough. I still screw up. people get upset and certain words are said. I wish they never were.
There’s so many things to be afraid about but I’m afraid of losing you. You’re the one that ties me up, keeps me sane and keep me going.
Tonight, I felt so suffocated and lost. I’m sorry. But pleas remember I still love you a lot.
“I should go now quietly // For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep // Where all my layers can become reeds // All my limbs can become trees // All my children can become me // /What a mess I leave / =”To follow (x4)”
My favourite kind of lecturers.
I’ve never been so amazed by teacher till I came into DMD Animation.
Back in semester 1, I had a crazy love for my design class. Yes, it’s 4-5 hours long every session. Yes, it’s always on Friday night which caused me to miss lots of outings with friends but I didn’t mind. I love design class. I still remember there was this once I was designing a movie poster with my own character and images. I asked Mr D for opinion. He commented that the colour was too saturated, changed a few images, adjusted some setting and my poster became so much better with just a few clicks of his. There was another instance where I was designed a stamp and I asked Mr D for opinions again. He looked at my design, paused for a moment and then asked “how about making the text bleed though?” and proceeded to give an demonstration after seeing my confused reaction. I learnt so much that day.
Now I’m well into semester two but I still have lecturers I’m amazed by. Especially Ms D from my storyboard class. Any student of hers can tell you straight away that she’s a very animated character with lots of passion for stories. She makes everyone laugh all the time and everyone loves her. It’s always sort of terrifying and yet exciting whenever I go up to her to ask about her opinion about my story. After every story pitch, no matter how disastrous or well it was, Ms D would always frown, knit her eyebrows together and think for a few seconds before coming up with suggestions to your story that would always cause you to go to question “why didn’t I think of that?!”
I was so amazed.
It’s kind of funny when I reflect on my past and realized how naive I was back in primary school (age 12). I lived in my own bubble and always thought I was the best. When I transited to secondary school (age 13-16), I finally slowly learnt that the world is big, wide and full of uncharted territories. It’s only when I’m in poly (now) then do I fully realize big, wide and exciting it really is.
So glad, so glad.
This is going to be one of that cheesy post yet again but I don’t care.
I’m glad I’ve found you. Yes, you. Being together with you has brought me more joy than I can ever imagine. At the start of this year I’d never expect so much but now? I’d look back at my past and laugh at my old thoughts.
I love you so much and I’m always trying my best to juggle everything to the best of my abilities. Is it not enough. I love you and want you to be happy so please tell me what else I can do. It pains me to see you pretending to be okay.
Reason #48521 why I like my course
For my next storyboard class, I am required to create a story for a TV show which includes:
- How I met your mother
- Modern Family
- The big bang theory
Needless to say, I’m picking Modern Family.
How can anyone resist that show?!
No time for tumblr? Oh dear.
I’ve been neglecting Tumblr for quite a bit over the past few weeks. This means that I’ve haven’t been having any time for Tumblr.
oh dear. The day I dread is finally here. But don’t worry Tumblr! I’ll never abandon you and you’re stream of constant funny-dreadful-inspiring-funnies posts because nothing can replace you. :’)
Even though i’m not the sort who would go around proclaiming each time we conquer a new milestone…
It has been 120 days since we got together, all the trails and tribulations seem so distant but fresh.
We’re not even on the pinnacle and yet I’ve already falling so hard.
I love you.